“What I wish I knew” – Indira Turney

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Grad school has been pivotal to the woman I am growing into. I am now at a place of peace, happiness, and continued growth. Here are my main take-homes:

Change is inevitable
Most of my most adult years to date have been spent in grad school. Our early adult years come with many major life changes and adding the stress of grad school created a lot of uncertainty in my life. I used to hate uncertainty, so when it became an everyday thing, it began to wear me down. I eventually realized that one thing that was certain in life was change. The end result is always for the best, so I have come to accept change and try to enjoy life’s moments instead of worrying about what comes next. It’s going to be great, right? So why worry? Don’t miss life’s amazing moments by worrying what’s next because there will always be another uncertain thing around the corner. Leave that up to God.

Consistent self-care is vital
Self-care (e.g., gym, sleep, quality time with family and friends etc.) was always the first to go when work became too much. However, within the last year I realized that once I put my self- care first and was consistent with it, it positively affected all aspects of my life. Make time for yourself and learn to say no to things that prevent you from doing so. I also realized that having a self-care accountability buddy helped me be more consistent, especially when it was someone who did some of my self-care activities with me (i.e. gym partner/swolemate).

A support system is crucial
Grad school is tough. In undergrad, you can get away with being a loner, but in grad school, if you want to be mentally stable, it’s important to have a selective group of friends that you can vent to (about personal and academic struggles), celebrate milestones, cry and learn life lessons. I have a small group of people I rely on for support. I must also say that having my dog, Buddy, has been a great support for my mental health. From a slightly different perspective, networking is also essential. This includes connecting with a mentor or life coach (someone independent of your academic advisor), which will make a world of difference. As I mentioned before, many important life decisions are made during this time and it’s helpful to have someone who’s already gone through it, help you navigate.

It takes more than intelligence
During undergrad, your intelligence is very valuable. In graduate school it’s important, but really you typically only know a whole lot about a very specific topic. Perseverance is more important here. It’s about being able to get back up when you didn’t get that award or publication or when that experiment doesn’t work. It’s about continuing the fight and not doubting your ability to succeed.

It’s a place of growth
Again, because of the battles you face in grad school, your morals and values will be
challenged, and your worldview will change. You will learn who you are and what you truly value in this life. It will break you down and build you back up, and in the process, you will learn valuable life lessons that make you a better version of yourself.

My Mantra: “Focus on the now; you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

“What I wish I knew” – Brittani Halliburton

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As a young African American female professional, I wish I knew that I would learn tons of things I did not like to do before I learned or found anything I actually like to do.

In law school, we were taught to go out for internships at large firms or companies and make great impressions in hopes to be offered the opportunity to return the following year and so forth until you are ultimately offered a job after passing the bar. Hearing this constantly could easily sway you to believe that is the only way to become a successful attorney. When in fact that is not true at all, it is not the only way. But in the spirit of following the “rules”, I found myself applying for internships and working in certain areas of law because I thought those were the areas that I wanted to practice, and I thought I was doing what was right.

However,  I wish I knew I would learn things I don’t like before I ever learned anything I did like because I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself during the process of school, interning and entry-level jobs. I allowed the dislike for things I went through at internships and on jobs to negatively impact my confidence, and I allowed self-doubt to rise inside of me.

Had someone sat me down and simply explained that I would learn things I did not like before I found anything I did…it would have helped me to see that it was not that I was doing a bad job or that I wasn’t good at the work assigned but that it just wasn’t where my heart or interested lied.

I would have also looked for the silver lining more often. I would have worked to find things I could take from those internships and jobs instead of just beating myself up.

So as someone that has learned what I love by first learning what I disliked I encourage you to stand firm and hold your head up even if you are doing something you dislike. Don’t beat yourself up, thinking you aren’t good at the job or knock your self-confidence as a first resort. It’s possible that you are just learning what you dislike and that’s ok.

My Mantra: “First believe that you can and then accept that you will” 

What I wish I knew – KayLa Allen

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I wish I knew that no matter what I could overcome every struggle that came my way, from the beginning. I faced adversity, discrimination, abuse, and depression all at once for years, and I struggled deeply until I realized that everything that I needed was already inside of me. No matter what you deal with, it is not the end-all-be-all. You can move beyond your circumstances.
I wish I knew that there are people out there who are great mentors and advisors, who are the great counsel that God said He would send forth. I kept finding myself following my heart instead of my mind and spirit. I thought I knew what I wanted and it took  what I perceived as failure before I was able to see that I needed to use the gifts and talents that God gave me. I needed to take those exact qualities and values and build a brand and career for myself that incorporated my passion for global health, helping others, epidemiology and psychology.
Lastly, I wish I knew that there were so many scholarship and grant opportunities out there. I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth, nor did I live in the suburbs. I grew up in a 1 bedroom apartment with my single mother; it was tough. The counselors/advisors at my high school were not exactly helpful, so at first I did struggle in college. After a year, I learned the power that I had right at my fingertips. Use the internet to search for scholarships that are specific to you and your ambitions. Join organizations that are related to your career goals and make connections. You do have the power, do not be afraid to ask for help! The only questions that are stupid are the ones that you do not ask.
Now, my journey in college is not over, but I am proud to say that I am a 4.0 GPA Master’s Candidate in a great Public Health Program; next year I will begin my doctoral program and study Epidemiology.
Your education is power, use your knowledge as pearls of wisdom and never stop reaching for higher levels.
Her Mantra: “Whatever you want to do, if you want to be great at it, you have to love it and be able to make sacrifices for it.” -Maya Angelou

“What I wish I knew” – Ziara S.

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I really wish I knew that pursuing an advanced degree would expose your character and commitment! It has been a challenge, not because I’m unintelligent, not because I am incompetent… but because I felt as though I was indebted to everyone who came before me, and that load was a heavy one to carry. Being “the one” in the family can lead to imposter syndrome, unrealistic expectations and unnecessary stress. But this process has taught me more about myself than any other experience thus far.

Working a full time teaching position during the day and classes at night have taken a toll, but I have become intentional about, as Erykah Badu would say, “packing light”. I’ve learned to prioritize my expectations of myself over anyone else’s. I have included mental health checkpoints for myself to ensure I am well during demanding times, while also establishing boundaries and actually enjoying the journey to my end goal. I never want to be so focused on the finish line, that I do not celebrate those in between “wins” that occur during the journey. This has been a transformative experience, and I’m thankful for it all.

My Mantra:  “I’m not saying I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.” -Tupac Shakur 

Ziara S.

Masters of Arts in Education Degree candidate, May 2018

 

 

“What I Wish I knew” – Dr. Malika Grayson

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In honor of Black History Month, Black Girls Guide To Grad School will be featuring amazing women in graduate school who continue to create history by just their very presence. They will be featured in a “What I wish I knew” Series. As a prelude to the amazing story and thoughts that are to come, I thought I would share mine:

As only the second black woman to enter my PhD program, I already felt the pressure to succeed and I also learned that mistakes were not a luxury I could have. I wish I knew that I could ask for help earlier and that others were willing to help me without judgement. I wish I knew how to speak up with the realization that asking a question does not mean you are incompetent. Asking questions are necessary and it is important to be assertive and to make sure that you understand every aspect. Your education and your growth is the most important.

I wish I knew that being alone did not always mean that you had to be lonely. There are so many of us, women of color, who are the only ones or only a few. If we truly came together and supported each other, do you know how great our community could be? What an impact that would be.

My mantra: “All great achievements require time” – Maya Angelou 

Successful Goal Setting

So at the end of every semester, we all say, “I need to set my goals for the new semester”. But how do we determine our goals for the semester? What is the strategy? Here are a few tips to helping you set your goals successfully. First, determine what major milestones are going to happen during the upcoming semester. For example, maybe there is the qualifying exam or a proposal due. These are major events that cannot be changed or shifted, therefore you need to set goals to help prepare you for these major events. The goals you set should be focused, achievable and realistic. It should also relate to the bigger picture. What do we mean by the bigger picture? Think of your semester and the things you would like to achieve holistically. In other words, use a systems thinking approach to goal setting. Using a systems thinking mindset allows you to look at your semester wholly and recognize what aspects of the semester depend on each other. It also leads to creativity as you are better able to think outside of the box when you have all the pieces in play.

Once you have the holistic view, you can determine what direction needs to be taken and set specific goals to take you there. The goals should be focused and the outcomes should be clear. The focused goals should also be achievable and realistic. If there is an obvious impediment that is going to prevent you from achieving that goal then the goal is not achievable. Hopes and maybes should never be included in the goals you set. For example: “This semester I will be published in a journal” vs “This semester I will submit to a journal”. The first goal is uncertain because being published depends on reviewer approval but the second goal depends mostly on you and therefore you can take steps (we will talk about strategies for execution next week) to achieve that goal. Although the both goals begin with “This semester”, making them are technically time boxed, drilling down to a more specific date (month) helps set a cadence: “I will submit to a journal by April of this semester”.

Now it’s time to visualize! The best way to visualize your goals is to write them down in a place you will be seeing them regularly as a constant reminder. First we see then we DO. This means that your last goal you should add to your list is “STICK TO GOALS!” The only way to meet a goal successfully is by being consistent.

Next week’s topic will focus on strategies for goal execution and will help with consistency.

End of the Year Reflection

It is easy to reflect on the things that did not work out this year. That one paper that didn’t get published or that exam you thought you would do better in. What about the results were not what you hoped for? We so easily slip into the mindset of “I didn’t” or “I couldn’t” before we think about the accomplishments with the things that we did! Before the end of the year, take a moment to reflect. Reflect on the steps you have taken to succeed this year. Day by day, you worked and with that commitment, you have ended up on the other side of the semester and the year. If it were easy, anybody would do it. If it were easy then graduate school would be a piece of cake. Think about your mindset going into the beginning of the semester and the questions you asked. How am I going to get this all done? How am I going to get through this? What if I fail? But here we are, you got it all done, you got through it and you succeeded. Even if there were small failures along the way, they are lessons learned for the bigger successes.

As you take the time to reflect, also think about not what you would have changed, but how your approach in 2018 can help improve some key setbacks you may have encountered. What are you going to do differently? Are you going to be a better planner? Are you going to take more time for yourself? Are you going to join a study group? Answers from your reflection session should help improve your experience in the following year. Look at these as pre-meditated goals. So before you put the books, research and all tasks down for 2017, set a few goals for next semester. These can be simple goals like the answers to your self-reflection questions, because setting even the simplest goals so soon, allows you to challenge yourself on having the mindset of how you are going to crush 2018!!

In 2017, you:

Rose Up,

Rose Above, 

And Rose Beyond the doubters.

Kudos on a successful year!